A quick lesson on worth and relationships 

A lot of people have this wrong,that’s why relationships and marriages don’t always last as we expect them to. So many ppl seek companionship that will make them complete,in substitution for seeking to be whole and complete before they provide companionship to someone else. 

Your worth should NEVER be determined by your relationship status. People can make you feel happy,but they don’t complete you. Feeling whole is an inside job. 💕 #healthyforevers 

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Divorce rates stay so high!

Divorces happen in such high numbers because a lot of people are more into the ideas of weddings,rings, and recognition instead of their partner, living as a union and all the maintenance that comes with it. You have a lot of women that are more interested in being the talk of the town rather than actually talking to their partners. 

The result is a lot of women and men end up chasing a perfect public appearance and united front full time to the point where they have no real time to actually work on the areas their marriage may be suffering. This only makes things worse. 

Focus more on improving the healthiness and happiness in your relationships, and couples won’t have to work so hard at damage control.

New Feature alert!

Good morning! Are you a single parent? If you are,I have a nice read for you. Being a single parent myself, I definitely understand that it’s not as easy as it seems, and that there are  a lot of things that should be taken into consideration while you’re out here in the dating game. I decided to share some of those things with you guys so that we can all continue to make good decisions while dating,because those decisions not only affect us,but our kids also. 

Check out my featured post on Single Wives Club website here: http://thesinglewivesclub.com/2017/02/dating-children-things-consider/ 

Tinder Foolery

The more I try to give Tinder a chance,the more I realize it’s just not for someone like me. In fact, the most exciting thing about Tinder is scrolling the profiles to swipe left or right, and the short-lived excitement when you see the “it’s a match!” message flash across the screen. 

My latest Tinder experience included a match with a handsome guy who stated in his caption that he was interested in making friends and a relationship (if it happens). He enjoyed quite a few things that I also love to do,so I was pleased when I saw he had also swiped right for my profile. He wrote me within ten minutes of my swipe. 

Him: “Hi beautiful”

Me: “Hi! How are you?”

Him: “I’m okay beautiful. What you up to?”

(Mind you,it’s almost 1 am)

Me: “Lying in bed getting some writing done. You?”

Him: “you should come lie in bed with me” 

*Side eye followed by major eye roll*

Me: “I don’t even know you lol”

Him: “come get to know me. I’ll send you my address.”

Me: “sir do you know what time it is? I don’t go to people’s homes at this time of night, nor do I go to homes of strangers”

Him: “that’s too bad. You’re sexy as f*ck” 

(That message was followed up by him removing me as a match immediately.)

So much for meeting new people and possibilities of a relationship. I guess in Tinder land that really means “let’s have sex on the first night”. 

Soundtrack of my heart: “Fool of Me”-Me’Shell NdegeOcello

I’ll never forget how this song made me cry from my soul as these two played a 1 on 1 basketball game for his heart at the end of “Love and Basketball”. This song is so beautiful, yet so sad! It’s meaningful to me even to this day because I’ve experienced this songs lyrics on so many different levels.

Everyone at some point knows how it feels to care deeply about someone that wants nothing to do with you,for whatever reason. Everyone has at least one person that they feel made a fool out of them and broke their heart in some way. There’s not too many things more cruel than snatching someone’s heart out of their chest and stomping on it with the harsh reality that interest and feelings just aren’t there anymore…or never were.  

The words are everything, and her voice is perfect for delivering them. 

Take a listen here.

Date Fails: Rude Boy

I went out on a date once with a guy that a mutual friend “hooked me up” with. I hate when people play Cupid or matchmaker with me,by the way.😒 So I meet him at the restaurant we agreed to enjoy happy hour and an early dinner at. 

He was rude from the time we walked into the restaurant all the way up until we parted ways.  He caught a nasty attitude with the hostess, pitched a fit about the table we were seated at, and was very condescending to the waiter. I wa s completely embarrassed! If you know me,you know I do not like rudeness and condescending people. I feel that behavior makes people look the exact opposite of what they are trying to appear as. 

This guy had the waiter running back and forth to the kitchen wth food that was too hot,too cold, drinks that didn’t taste right, and by the end of the night had the manager at the table on two different occasions regarding sending food back for not being cooked to his liking,smh.

I was so embarrassed I barely could even hold a conversation with him. Not that it even mattered because he only wanted to talk about himself the whole time anyway, and in a very loud manner.

To top all this off, when the bill came… his card declined. I ended up footing the bill,leaving the restaurant in a hurry, and never talking to him again. 

Second chances don’t always produce happy endings, like in the movies

So often we go into situations with an extremely hopeful mind that things will be different this time around. We decide to take a positive approach,because in our mind and heart it makes sense to give relationships our all if we’re gonna give them any consideration at all. Your intentions are good. You want it to work. We all deserve second chances…right?

Whatever you decide to do,be realistic. Just because your intentions are good, doesn’t mean that someone else’s towards you will be. The movies make second chances look beautiful,with happy endings that warm everyone’s hearts. The reality is that not all second chances will be magical. 

Not all second starts will produce happily ever afters, or even great beginnings. Sometimes people want second chances simply because they are opportunists.They sense the vulnerability and/or convenience, and want to capitalize on that. 

On the other hand,sometimes they do like you, just not enough to want a committed relationship.  Sometimes they feel a second chance will make things right between you two, and that things will be better. The problem is sometimes simply that everyone we want is not necessarily meant for us. The old saying goes “everything good to us is not good for us”. 

I don’t know about anyone else,but I like to pray over situations like this. I ask God to reveal the intentions in others and bless me with discernment so that I can know what doors need to be opened as well as which ones to shut. 

I hope when the time comes for you to make a decision on giving someone a second chance that you remember not what you want, but what you deserve. I hope that you evaluate intentions and make the decision that is best for not just your happiness,but your wholeness. 💕