Rihanna gets tired of men sometimes…and I can damn sure relate

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Rihanna has been killing it lately. From the Fenty beauty line to new lingerie and movie roles, she has been living her best life and doesn’t show any signs of losing steam. It’s been reported recently that superstar Rihanna has allegedly broken up with her latest billionaire boyfriend, and the reason given was that she ” just gets tired of men sometimes”. As soon as I read her reasoning, I immediately threw my hands in the air and yelled a long and dramatic ” YESSSSSSSSSSS GIRL!!!”, and I can only imagine that plenty of other women across the world felt exactly the same (even if they didn’t react in the extra-ish way that I did).

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Now before the social media world decides to begin crucifying Rihanna or any other women that agree with her feelings, take a minute to breathe and understand that what she said is not “male-bashing”.  She’s not disowning men or saying anything disrespectful. She’s also not “breaking hearts as usual” like the media has made her out to be doing. Rihanna is just expressing what many of us go through and vent about in our own circles. The truth is….we DO get tired of men sometimes, and that’s totally okay. We get sick of them sometimes just as they get sick of us sometimes. However, it’s always seemed to be more socially acceptable for men to complain about us, and not the other way around. Men get to complain about how indecisive, moody, boring, dramatic, petty, full of crap,etc. women are, and the rest of the world laughs and often agrees. However, any woman that speaks up about men doing many of the same things,is called a male-basher or “bitter”.

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I can absolutely relate to Rihanna’s decision to allegedly end the relationship for the reason that she did. I’ve been there on more than one occasion. Sometimes two people just don’t work out, and not everybody chooses to sit in situations trying to force them to work or change. People stop messing around everyday. Breakups and/or ending a casual dating situation doesn’t have to be due to someone cheating, being abusive, or something dramatic all the time. Sometimes you’re just…..over it. Every relationship you find yourself involved in is not meant to last, and you’re not a terrible person for deciding to walk away once you realize that. You’re not a terrible person or a “man eater” simply because you choose to make decisions for your own love life and what is needed to maintain happiness in your life journey. Things don’t have to be falling apart or toxic for them to end….sometimes it’s simply that what once worked for you just doesn’t anymore. And some people are strong enough to not settle, because we know that walking alone isn’t the same thing as being lonely.

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Some men are just like some women in many ways. They sometimes complain too much, do too much, lie too much, get lazy, and plenty of other things we all tend to get sick of when dealing with the opposite sex at times. And sometimes we may just think we want a relationship, only to realize -once we get into one- that being single was the better option at that point in time. Not only that, sometimes we just realize that the person we’ve decided to be with is not the person we see ourselves with for the long haul after all. We’re not so different from men. We all want to be happy and in control of who and what we spend most of our time and energy on. Rihanna’s no different than the rest of us in that aspect.

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Is Rihanna toxic? I don’t know. Were they even in an official, committed relationship? Who knows? Is there a pattern of her jumping from relationship to relationship? I don’t follow her love life enough to know these things. What I do know is that I’m giving Rihanna the ultimate high five right now, if the reports are even true. Her actions are proving that not only is she taking control of her life and who remains in it…she’s also completely content with just doing her. So why is this a problem when a woman does it, but when a guy chooses to walk away from a relationship, he’s only trying to find “the right one”?

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This isn’t really even about Rihanna or her love life for me. It’s about society’s ridiculous way of determining a woman’s value by her relationship status. The narrative that an independent woman who is actually happy and single has to have something wrong or toxic going on is played out and tired. The narrative that if you’re single it’s because you can’t find or keep a man is even more ridiculous. Some of the most abusive, toxic people stay in relationships the longest. I’m not saying you have to jump in and out of relationships depending on which way the wind blows, and I’m not saying that you need to be a serial dater either. I’m simply saying that when you find yourself not being happy with the situation you’re in, you’re not obligated or a monster if you choose not to stay. You don’t need a partner attached at your hip to enjoy life. You don’t need to be in a relationship to win, and you don’t need anyone by your side in order to feel valuable,desired, or significant. It’s not a crime to remove yourself from any relationship that you no longer desire, instead of leading anyone on or remaining unhappy. So yes…some of us do get tired of men sometimes, and guess what? If we choose to take a break from them altogether and just focus on ourselves…there’s not a damn thing wrong with that.

 

 

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Leslie Jones is no different than you and I

69th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - Arrivals

The other day, beautiful and hilarious actress Leslie Jones decided to have a transparent moment during her work out, which caused everyone to react like she was darn near suicidal. She posted a picture, and the caption for Twitter read:

“Ok back to cardio. But confession.. I feel like I’m doing it for nothing. I know it not [sic] I’m healthy and look good but I really feel like ‘what’s it all for’ if the people you want to notice don’t. I just feel like I might die alone. Sorry that’s pretty heavy today!!”

People immediately began scrambling to send her all types of messages, which were extremely uplifting! However, most of the messages revealed that a lot of people didn’t seem to get the idea Leslie was trying to get across. She wasn’t declaring low self esteem. She wasn’t declaring unhappiness with life or her looks. She simply was having a moment, like many of us tend to have at times.

Every day isn’t going to be a great day, and every moment of our day isn’t going to be positive and filled with perfect thoughts. Sometimes we have those moments where we feel down, or like the hard work we are putting in goes unnoticed sometimes. Sometimes we have moments as single women or men where we want to feel more appreciated than we are. This doesn’t make anyone desperate, lonely, or void of self esteem. It simply makes us human.

Leslie Jones doesn’t hate herself, or hate how she looks. You can take one look at her and see that she’s full of life and light. You can see the confidence she exudes. That moment of transparency was just that…..a moment. Feeling crappy will happen sometimes, and that’s okay. We all need a moment at times to vent our frustrations and be honest with ourselves, instead of trying to always make it seem like everything is okay. As long as you don’t dwell in those moments, or let those feelings overpower how good you do feel about yourself the rest of the time, it’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes.

Surely you’ve had a day or two where you felt like “what’s the point in this?”, and had to check yourself later. Being single, you may have had days where you were frustrated with the single status or dating scene, and ready for something worthwhile to come along. Leslie Jones is no different. We all have our days or moments where things don’t seem to be working out like we want them to.

Leslie Jones is going to be okay, I promise. She has many things to smile about and be grateful for without stressing all day every day over guys not liking her at this moment. The same way she bounced back from her moment, is the same way you should bounce back from your own days of feeling not sure of yourself. This isn’t just a celebrity thing.  We all feel unnoticed or unappreciated at times.

Leslie Jones lives in each of us. There will be amazing days, and then there will be low moments. The beauty of it all is that we get to choose where we remain. Pity parties are okay sometimes, as long as we don’t make the small party a lifestyle or habit. Those low moments are okay, as long as we don’t dwell there. I have a feeling Leslie Jones won’t dwell there long!

 

*If you haven’t gotten the chance, please check out my latest books, “Stop Saying Yes to Mr. No Good” and “Dear Brown Girl: Letters of life & love”, available at www.Ikarliworld.bigcartel.com , Amazon, and also on Barnes & Noble !*

A Wedding is only the Beginning


Loving,encouraging, supporting, and respecting your partner is quintessential to not just healthy relationships, but also a healthy marriage. If you find yourself more worried about what your partner can do for you as opposed to how you can continue to make the marriage flourish, you probably signed up for marriage for all the wrong reasons. Folks make the mistake of thinking getting the last name and union is the achievement, and then stop putting in the work that got them there. Marriage isn’t an accomplishment, it’s an ongoing journey. It’s up to you to make and keep that journey beautiful and healthy. Being selfless is a great start.💕💋 

*Be sure and go subscribe to www.SincerelyKarlicia.com where I’ll be moving all my blogs really soon! 

New feature alert! Breakups involving children

Good morning ! I’d like to invite you guys to check out my latest feature over at Single Wives Club regarding breakups and children. It’s a great quick read and I hope you guys will check it out and share with your friends and family! You can read the article here.  

You used to be enough..but that’s no longer good for me

I remember when I’d be the happiest girl ever to receive a text from you in the morning or early afternoon. I’d be all giddy and blushing, because I loved to hear from you. Even if it was short it made my day. 

I remember when I used to think that I was the luckiest girl in the world to be dating someone like you. Tall and handsome, friendly,driven, and all other women seemed to do anything and everything to get your attention, even before we met. Yet you chose me.

I remember when you’d text and say you were coming over at the end of the evening once you were done hanging out with your boys. I would eagerly jump up and make sure I had your favorite movies and drinks available. Make sure I cooked one of your fave meals or picked up food from somewhere we enjoy eating together.

Then I remember waking up one day feeling different. Those morning/afternoon texts no longer were good enough. The excuse of “I’m not a fan of talking on the phone” no longer was one I would accept. I want someone that ignores how much they dislike phone conversations because they enjoy my company, or simply want to hear my voice. I want more than 160 characters grouped together in empty textversations that fade into nothing after 4 or 5 exchanges.

I remember the day i realized that you enjoyed your role of ladies man way too much, to the point that it had turned you into a male attention whore. Where women were willing to any and everything to catch your eye or get some of your time, you were willing to do any and everything to keep that status and attention from any and everyone you could get it from. Your personality changed. You proudly  became a man that disrespects,degrades, and reduces women to body parts and sex. I no longer felt lucky that I had what other women wanted. I remember that feeling turning into disgust and saying to myself that those other women can have you. They’d probably be a better fit. Attention whores seem to work better together. 

I remember when I finally realized that all those nights you chose to end with me had nothing to do with you wanting me to be the last person you spent time with before you closed your eyes, or the first person you saw when you woke up. I realized that was just your “for-sure” at the end of the night once you’re done partying every weekend (with the same fellas you kick it with every day) and once you’re done meeting the thirsty women you’ve added to your contacts to rotate in with me next week. Yeah of course you wouldn’t be anywhere you didn’t want  to be, but wanting to be everywhere else until the wee hours of the night was no longer enough.

I have no desire to engage in situationships. I have no desire to associate with desperate attention seekers, because they’re always looking for the next best thing. I no longer have a need for a textationship. I desire meaningful conversation on a consistent basis, not just when you can find the time after getting drunk to come by.  

So when you playfully hit my inbox or text messages these days, cracking jokes about me abandoning you because you’re not good enough,the truth is..you’re absolutely right. 

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Valentines Day is one of my fave holidays,even as a single woman. For me it’s not a day exclusively for those who have a significant other..it’s a day of love in general. It’s a day of appreciation, a day to do a little more loving on those you care about and celebrate other people’s love also. Its not just like “any other day”. Of course we get love year round but Vday is a special day for it. I personally love to see all the genuine shows of appreciation, the excitement as people post their gifts and flowers. It’s a beautiful thing that should make anyone happy. 💕🤗 Single folks,keep your head up and your heart light. You’re loved and appreciated no matter what your status is. Married/taken folks,simply enjoy the beauty of the day without focusing on “unhappy” single folks or taking jabs at your partners “side pieces”. Let’s all enjoy  Vday with a positive mind and beautiful outlook on the day of love and appreciation,instead of a heart of bitterness and a mouth that spews insults(whether single,married,or in between) 💕💋 happy Valentine’s Day💋💋💋☺️