3 Not So Typical Places You May Meet Your Mr. Right

 

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Dating can be tough. If 2017 taught you anything about dating, it was that the process of finding decent guys to date is sometimes equivalent to banging your head against a wall, and hoping for some kind of miracle that will knock the wall down.  Why does it seem like most women feel like all guys in the dating pool are the same? Sometimes that is exactly the case, because you’re looking in the same ole places and expecting different results. Don’t be afraid to try new venues in order to meet potential partners, and release your hang ups about places that aren’t so “normal”. Here are a few places to keep in mind as you tackle dating this year.
Charity Events 
What better way to meet someone with a big heart than through events where everyone’s donating or volunteering for a cause? This is a great way to meet guys that could have the same passion and purpose as you. This not only gives you a chance to make a difference and give back to your community, but also to interact  with potential partners that have similar life goals.
Does this mean that every guy at these events will be a great match or sincere in their intentions? Not necessarily, but it’s a good place to take a chance. After all, these men are choosing to take time out of their schedules and help serve others. A selfless spirit is already a plus.
Online
I know,I know….I tend to cringe too sometimes at the automatic thought of hookup sites disguised as dating sites that help you to find your forever. I’ve definitely had my fair share of horror stories and comedy from my dating site trial and error phases. But set aside your urge to roll your eyes, dismissing the internet altogether based off past experiences or the popular opinion of infamous dating sites.
Give decent dating sites another breath of life. It may seem like most guys there are only looking for a quick, good time, but don’t be so quick to
write  off every guy that reaches out to you as such. A little online conversation doesn’t hurt anyone, and sometimes leads to great relationships and networking. Don’t be in a rush to take things offline just because someone else is. Take your time, and remember that you control your the pace of whatever you decide to pursue.
Another thing to remember is that you can use non dating sites online to meet others also. Don’t let the negative talk of being “thirsty” and “sliding in DM’s” scare you away from trying to get to know those you interact with online. We’re all adults, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with speaking respectfully and privately with someone you have an interest in. Don’t be afraid to use regular social networking platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram as places to meet someone. It’s a great way to meet those with similar interests as you that you may not run into daily offline.
Bookstores
This may sound cliche,but you’d be surprised how many people overlook the possibility of meeting an intelligent, creative, and driven partner inside a bookstore. This is another one of those situations where you can hit two birds with one stone, because you can possibly meet someone with substance while also getting a chance to pick up books you’re interested, or books that will help you to advance in your own craft.
If bookstores don’t make you feel like you’re in a beautiful corner of Heaven (as they make me feel, don’t judge) and they’re not your normal place to frequent, start small. Step into one to simply sit and enjoy a coffee while people watching. Eventually you can work your way up to browsing the store, or even bringing your laptop to sit and get your work done peacefully. It’s actually quite relaxing for those that have never chilled in a bookstore before.
Everything that works for others isn’t always going to work for you,and vice versa. Don’t miss out on a potentially great match for yourself by continuing to search in the same places you’ve always frequented, or by overlooking places that don’t seem as exciting. Take on a different approach to dating this year, and as time goes on you’ll find that it will bring about some positive results.

A quick lesson on worth and relationships 

A lot of people have this wrong,that’s why relationships and marriages don’t always last as we expect them to. So many ppl seek companionship that will make them complete,in substitution for seeking to be whole and complete before they provide companionship to someone else. 

Your worth should NEVER be determined by your relationship status. People can make you feel happy,but they don’t complete you. Feeling whole is an inside job. 💕 #healthyforevers 

Divorce rates stay so high!

Divorces happen in such high numbers because a lot of people are more into the ideas of weddings,rings, and recognition instead of their partner, living as a union and all the maintenance that comes with it. You have a lot of women that are more interested in being the talk of the town rather than actually talking to their partners. 

The result is a lot of women and men end up chasing a perfect public appearance and united front full time to the point where they have no real time to actually work on the areas their marriage may be suffering. This only makes things worse. 

Focus more on improving the healthiness and happiness in your relationships, and couples won’t have to work so hard at damage control.

New Feature alert!

Good morning! Are you a single parent? If you are,I have a nice read for you. Being a single parent myself, I definitely understand that it’s not as easy as it seems, and that there are  a lot of things that should be taken into consideration while you’re out here in the dating game. I decided to share some of those things with you guys so that we can all continue to make good decisions while dating,because those decisions not only affect us,but our kids also. 

Check out my featured post on Single Wives Club website here: http://thesinglewivesclub.com/2017/02/dating-children-things-consider/ 

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Valentines Day is one of my fave holidays,even as a single woman. For me it’s not a day exclusively for those who have a significant other..it’s a day of love in general. It’s a day of appreciation, a day to do a little more loving on those you care about and celebrate other people’s love also. Its not just like “any other day”. Of course we get love year round but Vday is a special day for it. I personally love to see all the genuine shows of appreciation, the excitement as people post their gifts and flowers. It’s a beautiful thing that should make anyone happy. 💕🤗 Single folks,keep your head up and your heart light. You’re loved and appreciated no matter what your status is. Married/taken folks,simply enjoy the beauty of the day without focusing on “unhappy” single folks or taking jabs at your partners “side pieces”. Let’s all enjoy  Vday with a positive mind and beautiful outlook on the day of love and appreciation,instead of a heart of bitterness and a mouth that spews insults(whether single,married,or in between) 💕💋 happy Valentine’s Day💋💋💋☺️

What Do I do with the Love-Dru Hill


This song….smh. This will forever be one of the best break up songs known to mankind. I recommend it for everyone’s breakup/broken-hearted playlist. Talk about singing your heart out! 

Dru Hill sings about not being able to get over someone they love,no matter what they do. I think we all can relate to these moments. When you’re single and able to do what you want,but that person is still on your mind. When you find yourself wondering if you’ll ever be able to love someone as you loved that person.

“I could stay out every night now,hang out til the dawn/I can do what I want to,anytime I want/ and I can make believe we never met/ I can clear out all the closets,put your things outside the door/ but I just can’t seem to not love you anymore….”

The words of this song always make me tear up thinking about past situations that made me feel this way. It’s hard not to get in your feelings when Sisqo is singing these lyrics in his powerful and passionate voice.

Take a listen here.

Back to Blue


Never again is what I told myself over and over  in the years after you left. I said I would never give you an opportunity to hurt and abandon me like you once did. I reminded myself that you didn’t deserve someone like me, and that I’d be foolish to ever allow you in if you ever returned. 

Yet there you were,reappearing as if you never left. Returning with the desire to prove to me that you deserved and were prepared for another chance to be everything I wanted and needed. Melting all my hesitation away with that smile of yours, and those arms that held me like they never wanted to let me go. 

But they did. They let me go just as fast as they returned. You came back and shook my world upside down just to end up leaving everything in disarray. You begged to be let back into my heart only to leave the door open for regret and pain when you walked back through it. 

You made me believe in you all over again,just to prove to me you were exactly who you proved you were the first time.

Soundtrack of my heart: “Fool of Me”-Me’Shell NdegeOcello

I’ll never forget how this song made me cry from my soul as these two played a 1 on 1 basketball game for his heart at the end of “Love and Basketball”. This song is so beautiful, yet so sad! It’s meaningful to me even to this day because I’ve experienced this songs lyrics on so many different levels.

Everyone at some point knows how it feels to care deeply about someone that wants nothing to do with you,for whatever reason. Everyone has at least one person that they feel made a fool out of them and broke their heart in some way. There’s not too many things more cruel than snatching someone’s heart out of their chest and stomping on it with the harsh reality that interest and feelings just aren’t there anymore…or never were.  

The words are everything, and her voice is perfect for delivering them. 

Take a listen here.

Later never came…

Have you ever planned to spend time with someone, and they go missing for the rest of the day? I don’t know about you but when things like that happen, I go into major reflection mode. To me,those “no call no show” moments are much deeper than the lack of consideration we tend to focus on. I always feel there’s a bigger reason why things didn’t happen as they were expected to.

It may be as simple as someone forgetting to call you back when they said they would in order to make the definite plans. Hey,stuff happens. However, when it’s someone that is claiming to be interested in you intimately, lack of follow through tends to take on a different meaning. 

Lack of reliability has different levels to me. I can’t see myself getting disappointed at one of my best friends canceling on a night out, like I would for a guy that says he wants to be more with me, yet flakes on scheduled date night. It’s the same with phone calls. My girlfriends and I have good intentions to keep in touch by phone in a more consistent manner,but it gets more and more difficult as each year passes and we all advance with personal endeavors,etc. However, like most women walking this planet, we wouldn’t tolerate the same lack of communication from a love interest or a guy that claims to want a relationship of significance with us.

Don’t get me wrong. Lack of follow through may not be something that’s a big deal to them,but it doesn’t make it any less significant for you. You have a right to be mad and/or disappointed when someone stands you up,or simply doesn’t do what they said they would,no matter who they are to you. You have a right to release the idea of making plans with them again. You have the right to release anyone that is flaky from your life if their reliability doesn’t suit your standards. 

Back to the point of my post. Recently I was asked on more than one occasion by someone interested in me intimately to spend time on my off day. I couldn’t commit to a specific time due to other obligations including mommy duties,but did let them know that I was cool with that. However,that day rolled around and when I attempted to make plans I was dismissed for the evening with a text message saying “I’ll hit you up in a little bit”. Of course that was at 7 in the evening,and “in a little bit” never came. 

When I got in bed that night, I began to reflect on the situation, and what it could possibly mean in the bigger picture, outside of him just not following through. I realized that maybe this was God’s way of protecting me from a compromising situation that He knows I try so hard to not involve myself in day to day. I’m not just talking physically,but emotionally, and spiritually also. Maybe we weren’t able to align our schedules after trying all week to come together simply because we might not be meant to spend too much alone time together. 

Perhaps this is God’s way of nudging me of away from making decisions that don’t align with the desires of the heart, and the healthy relationship I know that He has intended for me . 💕

Relationship Goals: My parents

Happy anniversary to my mama and daddy,the best parents ever💕. I believe in healthy love because they live it. I believe in happiness because they exhibit it. I believe in marriage because they’ve been doing it well for 44+ years. I believe in happily ever afters and living a life full of blessings and blessing others because I see them live it daily. I can hashtag #relationshipgoals all day on random pics but the truth is these two are the ultimate #marriagegoal #relationshipgoal for me💕you guys are why I will never settle for anything mediocre,unhealthy,or unfulfilling 💕💋