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Good morning ! I’d like to invite you guys to check out my latest feature over at Single Wives Club regarding breakups and children. It’s a great quick read and I hope you guys will check it out and share with your friends and family! You can read the article here.
I remember when I’d be the happiest girl ever to receive a text from you in the morning or early afternoon. I’d be all giddy and blushing, because I loved to hear from you. Even if it was short it made my day.
I remember when I used to think that I was the luckiest girl in the world to be dating someone like you. Tall and handsome, friendly,driven, and all other women seemed to do anything and everything to get your attention, even before we met. Yet you chose me.
I remember when you’d text and say you were coming over at the end of the evening once you were done hanging out with your boys. I would eagerly jump up and make sure I had your favorite movies and drinks available. Make sure I cooked one of your fave meals or picked up food from somewhere we enjoy eating together.
Then I remember waking up one day feeling different. Those morning/afternoon texts no longer were good enough. The excuse of “I’m not a fan of talking on the phone” no longer was one I would accept. I want someone that ignores how much they dislike phone conversations because they enjoy my company, or simply want to hear my voice. I want more than 160 characters grouped together in empty textversations that fade into nothing after 4 or 5 exchanges.
I remember the day i realized that you enjoyed your role of ladies man way too much, to the point that it had turned you into a male attention whore. Where women were willing to any and everything to catch your eye or get some of your time, you were willing to do any and everything to keep that status and attention from any and everyone you could get it from. Your personality changed. You proudly became a man that disrespects,degrades, and reduces women to body parts and sex. I no longer felt lucky that I had what other women wanted. I remember that feeling turning into disgust and saying to myself that those other women can have you. They’d probably be a better fit. Attention whores seem to work better together.
I remember when I finally realized that all those nights you chose to end with me had nothing to do with you wanting me to be the last person you spent time with before you closed your eyes, or the first person you saw when you woke up. I realized that was just your “for-sure” at the end of the night once you’re done partying every weekend (with the same fellas you kick it with every day) and once you’re done meeting the thirsty women you’ve added to your contacts to rotate in with me next week. Yeah of course you wouldn’t be anywhere you didn’t want to be, but wanting to be everywhere else until the wee hours of the night was no longer enough.
I have no desire to engage in situationships. I have no desire to associate with desperate attention seekers, because they’re always looking for the next best thing. I no longer have a need for a textationship. I desire meaningful conversation on a consistent basis, not just when you can find the time after getting drunk to come by.
So when you playfully hit my inbox or text messages these days, cracking jokes about me abandoning you because you’re not good enough,the truth is..you’re absolutely right.
Dru Hill sings about not being able to get over someone they love,no matter what they do. I think we all can relate to these moments. When you’re single and able to do what you want,but that person is still on your mind. When you find yourself wondering if you’ll ever be able to love someone as you loved that person.
“I could stay out every night now,hang out til the dawn/I can do what I want to,anytime I want/ and I can make believe we never met/ I can clear out all the closets,put your things outside the door/ but I just can’t seem to not love you anymore….”
The words of this song always make me tear up thinking about past situations that made me feel this way. It’s hard not to get in your feelings when Sisqo is singing these lyrics in his powerful and passionate voice.
Never again is what I told myself over and over in the years after you left. I said I would never give you an opportunity to hurt and abandon me like you once did. I reminded myself that you didn’t deserve someone like me, and that I’d be foolish to ever allow you in if you ever returned.
Yet there you were,reappearing as if you never left. Returning with the desire to prove to me that you deserved and were prepared for another chance to be everything I wanted and needed. Melting all my hesitation away with that smile of yours, and those arms that held me like they never wanted to let me go.
But they did. They let me go just as fast as they returned. You came back and shook my world upside down just to end up leaving everything in disarray. You begged to be let back into my heart only to leave the door open for regret and pain when you walked back through it.
You made me believe in you all over again,just to prove to me you were exactly who you proved you were the first time.
I’ll never forget how this song made me cry from my soul as these two played a 1 on 1 basketball game for his heart at the end of “Love and Basketball”. This song is so beautiful, yet so sad! It’s meaningful to me even to this day because I’ve experienced this songs lyrics on so many different levels.
Everyone at some point knows how it feels to care deeply about someone that wants nothing to do with you,for whatever reason. Everyone has at least one person that they feel made a fool out of them and broke their heart in some way. There’s not too many things more cruel than snatching someone’s heart out of their chest and stomping on it with the harsh reality that interest and feelings just aren’t there anymore…or never were.
The words are everything, and her voice is perfect for delivering them.
So often we go into situations with an extremely hopeful mind that things will be different this time around. We decide to take a positive approach,because in our mind and heart it makes sense to give relationships our all if we’re gonna give them any consideration at all. Your intentions are good. You want it to work. We all deserve second chances…right?
Whatever you decide to do,be realistic. Just because your intentions are good, doesn’t mean that someone else’s towards you will be. The movies make second chances look beautiful,with happy endings that warm everyone’s hearts. The reality is that not all second chances will be magical.
Not all second starts will produce happily ever afters, or even great beginnings. Sometimes people want second chances simply because they are opportunists.They sense the vulnerability and/or convenience, and want to capitalize on that.
On the other hand,sometimes they do like you, just not enough to want a committed relationship. Sometimes they feel a second chance will make things right between you two, and that things will be better. The problem is sometimes simply that everyone we want is not necessarily meant for us. The old saying goes “everything good to us is not good for us”.
I don’t know about anyone else,but I like to pray over situations like this. I ask God to reveal the intentions in others and bless me with discernment so that I can know what doors need to be opened as well as which ones to shut.
I hope when the time comes for you to make a decision on giving someone a second chance that you remember not what you want, but what you deserve. I hope that you evaluate intentions and make the decision that is best for not just your happiness,but your wholeness. 💕