New Feature alert!

Good morning! Are you a single parent? If you are,I have a nice read for you. Being a single parent myself, I definitely understand that it’s not as easy as it seems, and that there are  a lot of things that should be taken into consideration while you’re out here in the dating game. I decided to share some of those things with you guys so that we can all continue to make good decisions while dating,because those decisions not only affect us,but our kids also. 

Check out my featured post on Single Wives Club website here: http://thesinglewivesclub.com/2017/02/dating-children-things-consider/ 

Advertisements

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Valentines Day is one of my fave holidays,even as a single woman. For me it’s not a day exclusively for those who have a significant other..it’s a day of love in general. It’s a day of appreciation, a day to do a little more loving on those you care about and celebrate other people’s love also. Its not just like “any other day”. Of course we get love year round but Vday is a special day for it. I personally love to see all the genuine shows of appreciation, the excitement as people post their gifts and flowers. It’s a beautiful thing that should make anyone happy. 💕🤗 Single folks,keep your head up and your heart light. You’re loved and appreciated no matter what your status is. Married/taken folks,simply enjoy the beauty of the day without focusing on “unhappy” single folks or taking jabs at your partners “side pieces”. Let’s all enjoy  Vday with a positive mind and beautiful outlook on the day of love and appreciation,instead of a heart of bitterness and a mouth that spews insults(whether single,married,or in between) 💕💋 happy Valentine’s Day💋💋💋☺️

Tinder Foolery

The more I try to give Tinder a chance,the more I realize it’s just not for someone like me. In fact, the most exciting thing about Tinder is scrolling the profiles to swipe left or right, and the short-lived excitement when you see the “it’s a match!” message flash across the screen. 

My latest Tinder experience included a match with a handsome guy who stated in his caption that he was interested in making friends and a relationship (if it happens). He enjoyed quite a few things that I also love to do,so I was pleased when I saw he had also swiped right for my profile. He wrote me within ten minutes of my swipe. 

Him: “Hi beautiful”

Me: “Hi! How are you?”

Him: “I’m okay beautiful. What you up to?”

(Mind you,it’s almost 1 am)

Me: “Lying in bed getting some writing done. You?”

Him: “you should come lie in bed with me” 

*Side eye followed by major eye roll*

Me: “I don’t even know you lol”

Him: “come get to know me. I’ll send you my address.”

Me: “sir do you know what time it is? I don’t go to people’s homes at this time of night, nor do I go to homes of strangers”

Him: “that’s too bad. You’re sexy as f*ck” 

(That message was followed up by him removing me as a match immediately.)

So much for meeting new people and possibilities of a relationship. I guess in Tinder land that really means “let’s have sex on the first night”. 

What Do I do with the Love-Dru Hill


This song….smh. This will forever be one of the best break up songs known to mankind. I recommend it for everyone’s breakup/broken-hearted playlist. Talk about singing your heart out! 

Dru Hill sings about not being able to get over someone they love,no matter what they do. I think we all can relate to these moments. When you’re single and able to do what you want,but that person is still on your mind. When you find yourself wondering if you’ll ever be able to love someone as you loved that person.

“I could stay out every night now,hang out til the dawn/I can do what I want to,anytime I want/ and I can make believe we never met/ I can clear out all the closets,put your things outside the door/ but I just can’t seem to not love you anymore….”

The words of this song always make me tear up thinking about past situations that made me feel this way. It’s hard not to get in your feelings when Sisqo is singing these lyrics in his powerful and passionate voice.

Take a listen here.

Back to Blue


Never again is what I told myself over and over  in the years after you left. I said I would never give you an opportunity to hurt and abandon me like you once did. I reminded myself that you didn’t deserve someone like me, and that I’d be foolish to ever allow you in if you ever returned. 

Yet there you were,reappearing as if you never left. Returning with the desire to prove to me that you deserved and were prepared for another chance to be everything I wanted and needed. Melting all my hesitation away with that smile of yours, and those arms that held me like they never wanted to let me go. 

But they did. They let me go just as fast as they returned. You came back and shook my world upside down just to end up leaving everything in disarray. You begged to be let back into my heart only to leave the door open for regret and pain when you walked back through it. 

You made me believe in you all over again,just to prove to me you were exactly who you proved you were the first time.

Soundtrack of my heart: “Fool of Me”-Me’Shell NdegeOcello

I’ll never forget how this song made me cry from my soul as these two played a 1 on 1 basketball game for his heart at the end of “Love and Basketball”. This song is so beautiful, yet so sad! It’s meaningful to me even to this day because I’ve experienced this songs lyrics on so many different levels.

Everyone at some point knows how it feels to care deeply about someone that wants nothing to do with you,for whatever reason. Everyone has at least one person that they feel made a fool out of them and broke their heart in some way. There’s not too many things more cruel than snatching someone’s heart out of their chest and stomping on it with the harsh reality that interest and feelings just aren’t there anymore…or never were.  

The words are everything, and her voice is perfect for delivering them. 

Take a listen here.

Later never came…

Have you ever planned to spend time with someone, and they go missing for the rest of the day? I don’t know about you but when things like that happen, I go into major reflection mode. To me,those “no call no show” moments are much deeper than the lack of consideration we tend to focus on. I always feel there’s a bigger reason why things didn’t happen as they were expected to.

It may be as simple as someone forgetting to call you back when they said they would in order to make the definite plans. Hey,stuff happens. However, when it’s someone that is claiming to be interested in you intimately, lack of follow through tends to take on a different meaning. 

Lack of reliability has different levels to me. I can’t see myself getting disappointed at one of my best friends canceling on a night out, like I would for a guy that says he wants to be more with me, yet flakes on scheduled date night. It’s the same with phone calls. My girlfriends and I have good intentions to keep in touch by phone in a more consistent manner,but it gets more and more difficult as each year passes and we all advance with personal endeavors,etc. However, like most women walking this planet, we wouldn’t tolerate the same lack of communication from a love interest or a guy that claims to want a relationship of significance with us.

Don’t get me wrong. Lack of follow through may not be something that’s a big deal to them,but it doesn’t make it any less significant for you. You have a right to be mad and/or disappointed when someone stands you up,or simply doesn’t do what they said they would,no matter who they are to you. You have a right to release the idea of making plans with them again. You have the right to release anyone that is flaky from your life if their reliability doesn’t suit your standards. 

Back to the point of my post. Recently I was asked on more than one occasion by someone interested in me intimately to spend time on my off day. I couldn’t commit to a specific time due to other obligations including mommy duties,but did let them know that I was cool with that. However,that day rolled around and when I attempted to make plans I was dismissed for the evening with a text message saying “I’ll hit you up in a little bit”. Of course that was at 7 in the evening,and “in a little bit” never came. 

When I got in bed that night, I began to reflect on the situation, and what it could possibly mean in the bigger picture, outside of him just not following through. I realized that maybe this was God’s way of protecting me from a compromising situation that He knows I try so hard to not involve myself in day to day. I’m not just talking physically,but emotionally, and spiritually also. Maybe we weren’t able to align our schedules after trying all week to come together simply because we might not be meant to spend too much alone time together. 

Perhaps this is God’s way of nudging me of away from making decisions that don’t align with the desires of the heart, and the healthy relationship I know that He has intended for me . 💕