You used to be enough..but that’s no longer good for me

I remember when I’d be the happiest girl ever to receive a text from you in the morning or early afternoon. I’d be all giddy and blushing, because I loved to hear from you. Even if it was short it made my day. 

I remember when I used to think that I was the luckiest girl in the world to be dating someone like you. Tall and handsome, friendly,driven, and all other women seemed to do anything and everything to get your attention, even before we met. Yet you chose me.

I remember when you’d text and say you were coming over at the end of the evening once you were done hanging out with your boys. I would eagerly jump up and make sure I had your favorite movies and drinks available. Make sure I cooked one of your fave meals or picked up food from somewhere we enjoy eating together.

Then I remember waking up one day feeling different. Those morning/afternoon texts no longer were good enough. The excuse of “I’m not a fan of talking on the phone” no longer was one I would accept. I want someone that ignores how much they dislike phone conversations because they enjoy my company, or simply want to hear my voice. I want more than 160 characters grouped together in empty textversations that fade into nothing after 4 or 5 exchanges.

I remember the day i realized that you enjoyed your role of ladies man way too much, to the point that it had turned you into a male attention whore. Where women were willing to any and everything to catch your eye or get some of your time, you were willing to do any and everything to keep that status and attention from any and everyone you could get it from. Your personality changed. You proudly  became a man that disrespects,degrades, and reduces women to body parts and sex. I no longer felt lucky that I had what other women wanted. I remember that feeling turning into disgust and saying to myself that those other women can have you. They’d probably be a better fit. Attention whores seem to work better together. 

I remember when I finally realized that all those nights you chose to end with me had nothing to do with you wanting me to be the last person you spent time with before you closed your eyes, or the first person you saw when you woke up. I realized that was just your “for-sure” at the end of the night once you’re done partying every weekend (with the same fellas you kick it with every day) and once you’re done meeting the thirsty women you’ve added to your contacts to rotate in with me next week. Yeah of course you wouldn’t be anywhere you didn’t want  to be, but wanting to be everywhere else until the wee hours of the night was no longer enough.

I have no desire to engage in situationships. I have no desire to associate with desperate attention seekers, because they’re always looking for the next best thing. I no longer have a need for a textationship. I desire meaningful conversation on a consistent basis, not just when you can find the time after getting drunk to come by.  

So when you playfully hit my inbox or text messages these days, cracking jokes about me abandoning you because you’re not good enough,the truth is..you’re absolutely right. 

Advertisements

Tinder Foolery

The more I try to give Tinder a chance,the more I realize it’s just not for someone like me. In fact, the most exciting thing about Tinder is scrolling the profiles to swipe left or right, and the short-lived excitement when you see the “it’s a match!” message flash across the screen. 

My latest Tinder experience included a match with a handsome guy who stated in his caption that he was interested in making friends and a relationship (if it happens). He enjoyed quite a few things that I also love to do,so I was pleased when I saw he had also swiped right for my profile. He wrote me within ten minutes of my swipe. 

Him: “Hi beautiful”

Me: “Hi! How are you?”

Him: “I’m okay beautiful. What you up to?”

(Mind you,it’s almost 1 am)

Me: “Lying in bed getting some writing done. You?”

Him: “you should come lie in bed with me” 

*Side eye followed by major eye roll*

Me: “I don’t even know you lol”

Him: “come get to know me. I’ll send you my address.”

Me: “sir do you know what time it is? I don’t go to people’s homes at this time of night, nor do I go to homes of strangers”

Him: “that’s too bad. You’re sexy as f*ck” 

(That message was followed up by him removing me as a match immediately.)

So much for meeting new people and possibilities of a relationship. I guess in Tinder land that really means “let’s have sex on the first night”. 

Date Fails: Rude Boy

I went out on a date once with a guy that a mutual friend “hooked me up” with. I hate when people play Cupid or matchmaker with me,by the way.😒 So I meet him at the restaurant we agreed to enjoy happy hour and an early dinner at. 

He was rude from the time we walked into the restaurant all the way up until we parted ways.  He caught a nasty attitude with the hostess, pitched a fit about the table we were seated at, and was very condescending to the waiter. I wa s completely embarrassed! If you know me,you know I do not like rudeness and condescending people. I feel that behavior makes people look the exact opposite of what they are trying to appear as. 

This guy had the waiter running back and forth to the kitchen wth food that was too hot,too cold, drinks that didn’t taste right, and by the end of the night had the manager at the table on two different occasions regarding sending food back for not being cooked to his liking,smh.

I was so embarrassed I barely could even hold a conversation with him. Not that it even mattered because he only wanted to talk about himself the whole time anyway, and in a very loud manner.

To top all this off, when the bill came… his card declined. I ended up footing the bill,leaving the restaurant in a hurry, and never talking to him again.