Rihanna has been killing it lately. From the Fenty beauty line to new lingerie and movie roles, she has been living her best life and doesn’t show any signs of losing steam. It’s been reported recently that superstar Rihanna has allegedly broken up with her latest billionaire boyfriend, and the reason given was that she ” just gets tired of men sometimes”. As soon as I read her reasoning, I immediately threw my hands in the air and yelled a long and dramatic ” YESSSSSSSSSSS GIRL!!!”, and I can only imagine that plenty of other women across the world felt exactly the same (even if they didn’t react in the extra-ish way that I did).
Now before the social media world decides to begin crucifying Rihanna or any other women that agree with her feelings, take a minute to breathe and understand that what she said is not “male-bashing”. She’s not disowning men or saying anything disrespectful. She’s also not “breaking hearts as usual” like the media has made her out to be doing. Rihanna is just expressing what many of us go through and vent about in our own circles. The truth is….we DO get tired of men sometimes, and that’s totally okay. We get sick of them sometimes just as they get sick of us sometimes. However, it’s always seemed to be more socially acceptable for men to complain about us, and not the other way around. Men get to complain about how indecisive, moody, boring, dramatic, petty, full of crap,etc. women are, and the rest of the world laughs and often agrees. However, any woman that speaks up about men doing many of the same things,is called a male-basher or “bitter”.
I can absolutely relate to Rihanna’s decision to allegedly end the relationship for the reason that she did. I’ve been there on more than one occasion. Sometimes two people just don’t work out, and not everybody chooses to sit in situations trying to force them to work or change. People stop messing around everyday. Breakups and/or ending a casual dating situation doesn’t have to be due to someone cheating, being abusive, or something dramatic all the time. Sometimes you’re just…..over it. Every relationship you find yourself involved in is not meant to last, and you’re not a terrible person for deciding to walk away once you realize that. You’re not a terrible person or a “man eater” simply because you choose to make decisions for your own love life and what is needed to maintain happiness in your life journey. Things don’t have to be falling apart or toxic for them to end….sometimes it’s simply that what once worked for you just doesn’t anymore. And some people are strong enough to not settle, because we know that walking alone isn’t the same thing as being lonely.
Some men are just like some women in many ways. They sometimes complain too much, do too much, lie too much, get lazy, and plenty of other things we all tend to get sick of when dealing with the opposite sex at times. And sometimes we may just think we want a relationship, only to realize -once we get into one- that being single was the better option at that point in time. Not only that, sometimes we just realize that the person we’ve decided to be with is not the person we see ourselves with for the long haul after all. We’re not so different from men. We all want to be happy and in control of who and what we spend most of our time and energy on. Rihanna’s no different than the rest of us in that aspect.
Is Rihanna toxic? I don’t know. Were they even in an official, committed relationship? Who knows? Is there a pattern of her jumping from relationship to relationship? I don’t follow her love life enough to know these things. What I do know is that I’m giving Rihanna the ultimate high five right now, if the reports are even true. Her actions are proving that not only is she taking control of her life and who remains in it…she’s also completely content with just doing her. So why is this a problem when a woman does it, but when a guy chooses to walk away from a relationship, he’s only trying to find “the right one”?
This isn’t really even about Rihanna or her love life for me. It’s about society’s ridiculous way of determining a woman’s value by her relationship status. The narrative that an independent woman who is actually happy and single has to have something wrong or toxic going on is played out and tired. The narrative that if you’re single it’s because you can’t find or keep a man is even more ridiculous. Some of the most abusive, toxic people stay in relationships the longest. I’m not saying you have to jump in and out of relationships depending on which way the wind blows, and I’m not saying that you need to be a serial dater either. I’m simply saying that when you find yourself not being happy with the situation you’re in, you’re not obligated or a monster if you choose not to stay. You don’t need a partner attached at your hip to enjoy life. You don’t need to be in a relationship to win, and you don’t need anyone by your side in order to feel valuable,desired, or significant. It’s not a crime to remove yourself from any relationship that you no longer desire, instead of leading anyone on or remaining unhappy. So yes…some of us do get tired of men sometimes, and guess what? If we choose to take a break from them altogether and just focus on ourselves…there’s not a damn thing wrong with that.